


Middle Ground

by xHaruka17x



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Broken Promises, Destiel has a child, Divorce, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Marital Problems, Multi, Omega Castiel, ficfacers$2020, mentions mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25935895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xHaruka17x/pseuds/xHaruka17x
Summary: Having a career in the medical field was difficult enough, but it was much more difficult for an Omega in an Alpha dominated world. One had to prove oneself , be dedicated and better than everyone else. Be a physician that patients could trust and depend on, and from an Omega standpoint, relate to. However, how much can one sacrifice before they push away what's truly important in their life and ruin that happiness?Now with stunning NSFW art by the amazingTheFriendlyPigeon!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 60
Kudos: 150
Collections: FicFacer$ 2020





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to sir_kingsley!

  
  
Castiel sighed as he went over another chart from the day’s patients. The Omega’s hard work had been paying off quite well over the last few years. He was a favored Doctor; established in his community which was no small feat as an Omega male. He had been lucky enough to meet and be hired by a Beta named Fergus Crowley. The good Doctor had decided to open a clinic for Omegas only in order to treat them without having the constant fears or stigma. This was a safe haven for their patients and along with Doctor Meg Masters, who was also an Omega, the trio had quite the steady flow of patients. After years of proving himself in an Alpha dominant world and battling a narrow minded systematic prejudice that viewed Omegas as secondary citizens, this was a hard won battle for Castiel and he was proud of their work.  
  
There had been many changes in Omega rights over the last decade. It had allowed many Omegas to be self-sufficient and succeed on their own without the archaic ritualistic ideas that an Alpha was needed for an Omega to be anything worthy. There was still a large portion of the population who still believed in the old ways. Omegas were only good to be home, have pups and raise them. Omegas couldn’t and shouldn’t be working in certain fields of employment because of their ‘hormones’ controlling them and the distraction of their heats every three months. Which was complete hypocrisy as some Alphas were reduced to aggressive beasts that wanted to breed anything that moved once or twice every year depending on the Alpha. But of course, that wasn’t viewed as a ‘weakness’ but as ‘prowess’.  
  
A knock roused Castiel from his reading. “Cassie? What are you still doing here? It's nearly ten o’clock.”  
  
Balthazar was the medical receptionist for the clinic. Also an Omega and a vivacious one who could get Castiel to blush at some of the outlandish things the English man teased him about. He was incredibly efficient with a neat and straight forward hand script and a no nonsense aura about him that patients either loved or hated.  
  
Castiel frowned. “It’s not unusual for me to be here this late…” He and Balthazar had stayed quite late many nights and he wasn’t sure why it was an issue now, as if the blonde Omega had somehow forgotten.  
  
Balthazar sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Castiel, today is October 7th…”  
  
Castiel’s frown deepened. He wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean besides it being a Thursday and yes today was October 7th…and… “Oh no…” Castiel’s eyes widened as he realized what day it _really_ was and he shot up out of his seat and started to collect his things in a hurry.  
  
Balthazar watched him with saddened and worried blue eyes and Castiel did everything to ignore that pitying gaze.  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Castiel voiced as he rushed with his coat and briefcase towards the exit with his friend close behind him to lock the door.  
  
He had completely forgotten. “Shit” He had promised and he still had managed to forget and if Balthazar hadn’t said anything, he knew he would have fallen asleep at his desk like so many times before. He would eventually drag himself home only to face what was waiting for him there. The gold band around his wedding finger glistened beneath the passing street lights as he maneuvered his car towards his house and his heart sank as he pulled into the driveway seconds late. Not even the porch light was on.  
  
Castiel turned off his car and sat dejected as he looked up at the somber house. There would be yet another fight and another night of sleeping with swirls of emotions that wouldn’t settle. He looked at the clock on the dashboard; it was almost ten thirty. This wasn’t the first time he had messed up and forgotten important dates that pertained to him and his family, yet with every one missed, he felt as if his apologies meant less every time.  
  
The Omega sighed, grabbed his briefcase, exited the car and made his way into the dark house. The only light came from the kitchen, the glow from the oven light was his only beacon and as Castiel walked into the kitchen, there were roses in a vase with what had been dinner with candles and a card. He lifted the card that cheerfully stated ‘Happy Anniversary!’ on its bold cover and as he opened it, he could see his husband’s slanted rushed hand addressing his disappointment once again.  
  
_‘I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that again, you ‘forgot’ D-_  
  
“Wow, you’re home before midnight. Forgot what that's like” The sound of his husband's angered voice made him look up to find the man he loved for the last seven years. Dean Winchester was an Alpha that loved and protected fiercely. He was everything Castiel had ever hoped for in a partner; encouraging, fun and thoughtful. He had never used his Alpha status against Castiel and had instead used it in ways that were always helpful to him and any other Omegas in their tight knit group of family and friends. Dean had also never forced him to mate despite having shown interest in doing so. He had never pushed. Castiel had fallen hard for the dashing man, expressive emerald green eyes with a powerful build and a movie star smile. Today was their seventh wedding anniversary and Castiel Novak-Winchester had completely forgotten.  
  
“Dean-”  
  
“Don’t” Dean growled. He was dressed in sleeping pants and a shirt yet with his arms folded over his chest and the clench in his sharp jaw told Castiel the Alpha was trying his best not to let his anger take over. “You promised, again. And again, no Cas. Do you realize that this is the third anniversary in a fucking row that you just ‘forgot’?”  
  
“Dean-”  
  
“Oh no. I’m not done Doc.”  
  
Castiel flinched at the tone his lover had used. He knew Dean was going to be mad and he understood him, he did. But he had simply been lost in his work...  
  
“It’s always work work work. You have no idea how much this fucking hurts me. Hell, I’m pretty sure that me and our _daughter_ have stopped being a priority for you for a while now”  
  
“That’s not true!” Castiel yelled back. Dean was everything to him and their beautiful five year old daughter Ellie was the best and most important thing in his life.  
  
“No?” Dean looked at him wide eyed, his scent turned sour and bold as his anger seeped into his voice.  
  
“No!”  
  
“Ah! When was the last time you went to ONE of Ellie’s soccer games? Practice? Or what about the singing recital she was in last month?”  
  
“I was there!”  
  
“You showed up at the very end when the curtain was already down. Nice try”  
  
A sudden panic was starting to make its way into the pit of Castiel’s stomach. He racked his brain trying to remember a game, any game of his daughter’s he had actually attended. To his horror he couldn’t remember a single one.  
  
Dean rubbed his face and sighed as the anger seemed to drain out of him and Castiel’s heart ached as he watched his husband’s rage turn into sadness and it hurt to see and know he was the cause.  
  
Dean licked his lips, his frustration high and he just felt exhausted. He was tired of this song and dance. He couldn’t even remember the last time they had kissed and the longing that twisted inside him only added to the hurt. He knew Castiel had always been on some kind of mission to prove himself to the Alpha dominant world and he had always admired, encouraged and even pushed him during his hardest times in med school and when he had been trying to get his foot in the door of the medical field. Dean had never thought that once Castiel did make it and started his long fought for career, that the collateral damage would result in it being him and their precious pup being shoved to the side for his Omega’s pride and need to be a doctor. Maybe he was the one that was selfish but what the fuck was he supposed to think and feel when their five year old asked him time and time again ‘where’s mama?’ ‘why isn’t mama here?’ ‘Does mama not love me anymore’... gods that last one.. Ellie had been asking that one a lot lately and every time that question left those tiny lips it completely gutted him.  
  
“I’m going to bed,” Dean announced, completely drained. They hadn’t addressed anything. They never really did and the Alpha was just tired of feeling forgotten.The worst thing that ate at his heart was how their daughter felt and Dean knew in the depths of his soul Castiel loved their daughter more than life itself and yet…he just had no real reason to accept his Omega’s actions.  
  
Castiel watched his husband disappear down the hall. A ball of emotions threatened to choke him as he watched Dean pull away from him and this…this was the most terrifying thing he had ever witnessed. Dean hadn't raged, yelled or barked like all the other times Castiel had put work before his family. No this time, sadness and sheer pain had radiated off his husband and Castiel had been too shocked and frozen to do anything about it except watch his Alpha retreat and walk away.  
  
After what felt like hours, he finally regained control of his faculties and started down the hall after his Alpha only to find the bedroom door closed. Tears swam in his eyes as he placed his hand against the door. Dean didn’t want him in the room. The Omega slowly turned towards the guest bedroom down the hall and as he passed his daughter’s room, he saw she wasn’t there.  
  
Castiel looked down at his wedding band and swirled it around his finger. Ellie was most likely staying at his brother in law's home with her cousins for the night. He remembered the roses and the candles Dean had set out on the table and sighed. His Alpha had hoped for a nice evening with just the two of them but Castiel had stayed at work to look over patient charts that could have waited until the next day. Guilt ate at him and that night, he barely slept at all.  
  
  
  
**Oct 31st Halloween**  
  
  
It was just after five o’clock when Castiel bid his last patient goodbye as he walked them to the front glass door of the clinic. Movement caught his eye and he watched as families with young children had started to trick or treat in the early evening light. He couldn’t hear their joy but he could see it. Kids of all ages pulled on their parents' hands as they laughed and giggled and crossed the small neighborhood streets to make sure to hit every decorated house to get all the candy.  
  
Dean was taking Ellie trick or treating. A piercing pain made him flinch as he realized he had forgotten what Ellie had chosen to be. He knew it was some kind of Pokemon, he just couldn't seem to be able to put the name to the particular creature she was fond of. The Omega was sure that his Alpha would also be dressed up. Dean always wore whatever costume their pup asked him to wear. He remembered last year, it was one of the Halloweens Castiel had actually been home for but only because he himself had had the flu. Ellie had chosen to be Princess Elsa and had asked that her daddy be Oloff. Castiel smirked as he remembered his strong Alpha husband dressed as a goofy looking snowman. Dean had had no qualms about being dressed as such if it made their pup happy. Ellie had her daddy completely wrapped around her tiny finger and it always filled Castiel with a powerful bloom of love for his Alpha.  
  
He had a sudden and strong pull to be home; to see Ellie in her costume and his husband too. He hated the way they were around each other. Dean was withdrawn from him, anger and sadness tickling just below the surface of his bergamot and mint scent and it made Castiel’s body ache that he had no idea how to fix it. Things had been tense for some time and he wasn’t sure if things would get better or if this was his new normal. He did not want to be walking on eggshells around the man he loved. Dean wasn’t openly hostile at all, but cordial and quiet which just made Castiel feel worse.  
  
“Balthazar, I’m going to go home early, I don’t have any other scheduled patients for today right?” Castiel asked as he spun around to face the blonde.  
  
Balthazar looked up at him with raised brows that followed a pleased smile. “You are free as a bird Cassie.” He hummed as his fingers flew over the keyboard.  
  
Castiel released the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding and hurried down the hall towards his office to collect his things.  
  
“Leaving early?” Meg leaned against the frame of his office door and he rushed to put his things away.  
  
“Y-yes. It's Halloween and I don’t want to miss Ellie in her costume” Castiel voiced as he smiled at the thought. If he was fast enough, perhaps he could go with Dean and Ellie trick or treating.  
  
Meg straightened from her position and made her way towards his desk. “You know, I worry about you. You and that Alpha of yours have been at odds for a long time now. You should be careful, most Alphas can’t handle a successful Omega.”  
  
Castiel frowned. Meg had never liked Dean, had never even referred to him by name and as her own personal rule, she wasn’t a fan of _any_ Alphas on principle alone. Castiel understood she had had a hard go more times than one could count with Alphas, hell he had his own past with Alphas and those encounters were painful to remember, but Dean wasn’t that kind of Alpha. He was kind and loving and protective of his family and friends. He wasn’t an Alpha that used his status to gain whatever he wanted and abuse anyone. That wasn’t who Dean was at all.  
  
“I appreciate your concerns Megs, I do, but I promise everything is fine at home.” He told her as he picked up his briefcase.  
  
“Hn” She smirked and he hated when she gave him her ‘knowing’ gaze as she nodded in agreement if only for his sake. “Whatever you say Cas, but Alphas are prideful knotheads, all of them, even your husband and one way or another, that side always comes out.” She hummed as she sauntered out of the office leaving him feeling a bit rattled and annoyed.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Castiel was pulling into his driveway. Dean had gone all out of the decorations, four carved pumpkins were lit and in the ends of the three small steps of their porch, their gleeful and shocked faces made Castiel smile. There was a massive spider web made of orange and black lights that took the hole front of the garage door with a giant spider with googly eyes perched in its center. The windows and the whole roof on the second story of their humble house was lit up in orange lights and a large bat was hanging from the center of the house’s peak. There was a graveyard in the front yard with tombstones that moved and haunted screams sounded whenever someone passed it on the sidewalk.  
  
The Omega made his way into the house, only to find it empty and his heart sank. He was too late, Dean and Ellie were already out and about. He sighed and made his way to the bedroom and took a warm shower to calm his nerves. He had been sleeping in the guest bedroom since their anniversary and as he stepped out of the shower and stood in the middle of their bedroom drying his hair and dressed in comfy pajama pants and a t-shirt…his Alpha’s scent swirled around him. He missed sleeping in his husband’s arms.  
  
He sighed as he tried to think of how to fix the tense situation. He wasn’t even sure what was going on, only that Dean wanted space and it ate at him. Castiel made his way to the kitchen and looked at the time. It was almost six o’clock and he decided to start dinner, something simple but heavy enough to counter all the candy he was sure Ellie was going to be gorging herself on. Dean as well, the big man had a sweet tooth when occasion called and that occasion was Halloween candy.  
  
Castiel hummed to himself as he started to make spaghetti with the leftover meat sauce Dean had made and frozen. The tranquility of cooking and the ease of motion that his body moved with ease about their kitchen and it hit him just how much he missed doing this simple act of making dinner for his family…He stood a bit shocked at the sentiment that cursed through him when he heard the front door opened followed by Ellie’s happy squeals as she spoke to Dean.  
  
When Dean saw his husband’s car parked in the driveway, he was actually surprised and wasn’t sure what to expect. His Omega standing in the kitchen cooking in his pajamas wasn’t it, but he didn’t fight the smile that graced his face. Cas looked beautiful, freshly showered, soft grey pajamas and one of Dean’s plain white t-shirts. He missed him.  
  
“Mama!” Ellie ran right to her mama and hugged his legs tightly.  
  
“Hi peanut!” Castiel bent down and hugged his little girl. She was completely adorable dressed up in a one piece jumpsuit of the popular pokemon he couldn’t place the name of. “Don’t you look cute! Strong pokemon!”  
  
“I’m Pikachu mama! Daddy is Ash!” Ellie explained proudly as she ran back towards her father who was holding her rather large candy bag.  
  
Castiel looked up at his Alpha and sure enough, Dean wore a red and white baseball cap, blue jeans with a blue vest and with green gloves looking very much like the character Ash. He laughed a bit as his husband was always willing and ready to dress up in any get up their daughter asked for. It filled him with love for his Alpha and guilt nipped at him. He hated when they fought and it hurt how much the distance between them seemed to only grow in the last few years. He hated it.  
  
“Spaghetti!” Ellie cheered as she sat at the table and quickly reached for a garlic roll.  
  
“Smells great” Dean stated as he placed the large candy bag on the counter and took a seat next to Ellie. Cas quickly served everyone and as he settled down to eat, he took all it in, took in his beautiful pup’s every word as she told him about her and Dean’s adventures tonight while they had been trick or treating and all the costumes she had seen. His Alpha’s smile aimed at their daughter, the easiness between their bond, the way she looked up over at him, so eager to tell her mama all her thoughts and Castiel couldn’t stop smiling throughout their meal.  
  
Once dinner was done, Ellie had already started to yawn and rub at her eyes. “Come on Pikachu, bath time and then bed” Dean announced as he took off his baseball cap and vest.  
  
“Noo, I want candy…” Ellie half heartedly whined. Dean snorted and picked her up with ease.  
  
“Tomorrow, you know the rules.” Castiel smiled as he watched his Alpha take their grumbling pup to get her bath while he cleaned up the dishes. He could hear Ellie giggling and talking in the bath, still fighting sleep.  
  
Minutes later, his pup was hugging his legs once more, bidding him night night. Castiel kissed the top of her head before she ran back to her father who put her to bed.  
  
Castiel stayed in the kitchen as he tried to calm his racing heart. He couldn’t quite remember the last time he had been home when Dean hadn’t already been in bed behind the closed bedroom door and something in him hoped that wouldn’t happen tonight. He quickly shut off the lights in the house, made sure the door was locked and found himself all but running to the bedroom.  
  
As he stopped just before the bed, Dean walked out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair from his shower and another towel slung low around his hips. Lust and arousal swirled in the pit of Castiel’s stomach at the sight of his husband’s state of undress. Water drops slid down the Alpha’s broad chest and strong abs. Trailing down to the line of light hairs that drew his eyes to the towel and the warmth hidden below it. When Castiel realized where his gaze had wandered, it left him feeling flushed and aroused.  
  
Dean watched his Omega’s reaction as his rose water and ivy scent whirled around him, filled with arousal, it embedded itself in the Alpha’s nose and senses. Within the next breath Castiel was in front of him and had pulled him in for a kiss. It was desperate and wanton and despite all of their struggles Dean had the same overwhelming need to be close to his husband. He loved the Omega and his scent was driving Dean wild as he dropped the towels, gaining a groan from his husband as he deepened the kiss and pushed him towards the bed.  
  
“Have to be quiet” Dean whispered as he slid Castiel’s pajama pants down and off as the Omega pulled off his own t-shirt, needy and desperate to feel his Alpha’s skin against his own.  
  
Castiel nodded numbly. Too eager and in a daze just from feeling his husband's hands upon him, demanding, groping and caressing as instinct urged the Omega to scramble up onto the bed and present. With slick already easing from his hole, he buried his face in the pillows as Dean kneeled behind him. The heat that came from his Alpha’s skin, the scent of his arousal and the touch of his large hands on his flank made the Omega keen. It had been much too long and a distant voice reminded him it was his fault for always being away, yet he pushed away the voice and frantically keened for his Alpha, arched his back and spread his legs just so that had Dean growling in approval.  
  
  


  
  
  
Dean’s impressive cock sank into him slowly. Castiel gasped and bit into the pillow. It had been much too long since he had felt the drag of his Alpha inside of him and he whined. Dean groaned as he started to rock. He leaned forward and nipped at the Omega’s back as his thrusts began to pick up speed, harder and faster in a way that had Castiel crying out into the pillows. The Omega was helpless and came quickly; completely untouched, soiling the sheets beneath him as he cried out in ecstasy as Dean continued the harsh and fast rhythm of his hips. Dean bit him on his back as he came seconds later, flooding his hole and growled as they both fell forward. Castiel’s legs no longer able to hold them up.  
  
Castiel panted as he turned his head and Dean started to withdraw from him, then laid next to him. The Omega succumbed to his exhaustion and fell asleep quickly.  
  
  
  
 **Mid November**  
  
  
“I had to pick between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I picked Christmas so I can be there for Ellie.” Castiel explained as Dean nodded while he put away the laundry. “I promise I’ll-”  
  
“Please don’t Cas.” Dean countered as he turned to look at his husband. “Don’t make any promises we both know you won't be able to keep.”  
  
“Dean that’s not fair?”  
  
“No? Cas, every promise you’ve made me and Ellie for the past three years, you’ve never been able to actually come through on. So no offence, but just stop promising anything because I can’t believe you.” Dean stated and licked his lips as Castiel’s blue eyes filled with hurt and regret. “I want to, you have no idea how much I want to, but every time, you just…something happens, some emergency or whatever at the clinic and just…I don’t wanna hear words I can’t believe in, ok?” And with that Castiel watched him walk away. The Omega caught sight of their pup watching them from the corner of her bedroom door.  
  
The pup inched out into the hallway and regarded him with questioning eyes. Castiel always marveled at how beautiful their lil one was. She had Dean’s green eyes and freckles with Castiel’s own dark hair and plush lips. “Are you coming to uncle Sam’s for Thanksgiving with us mama?”  
  
“No peanut... “ Castiel tried not to let the sadness he felt at her disappointed baby face hurt as much as it did.  
  
“You always have to work. Daddy works too but he’s always with me… why didn’t you want to be with me mama?” Ellie asked as tears swam in her eyes and Castiel rushed to her and picked her up in his arms.  
  
“I always want to be with you, peanut. Please don’t cry.” Castiel held his pup dearly as she sniffled against him. “You’ll have lots of fun with Paige and Aubrey and you love aunt Eileen’s mashed potatoes.”  
  
After several minutes Ellie pulled away as she rubbed her now red rimmed eyes and nodded.  
  
“I love you peanut.” Castiel told her and his heart ached as she nodded once again and rubbed her eyes still while he pet her hair gently.  
  
“I love you too mama.”  
  
“Ellie?” Dean’s voice came from the living room. “Wanna watch The Octonauts?”  
  
“Yeah!” Ellie yelled in return. She kissed Castiel and then ran off towards her father.  
  
Castiel sighed as he reached for his briefcase and started towards the front door. Hearing Ellie laugh with her father and a part of him felt relieved that she was ok now yet a bigger part of him made him want to just stay but he had patients waiting for him and he was already late.  
  
The Omega arrived at the clinic and he quickly started his routine, Balthazar had his files ready and before he knew it, the day had rapidly gone by.  
  
“Castiel” The Omega looked up to find Crowley in his doorway. “Today has been a bit crazy, I wanted to introduce you to our latest addition, Dr. Inias Sky” Castiel stood as an Omega male moved forward to shake his hand. Inias seemed kind and around his own age as well.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you Doctor Novak-Winchester.”  
  
“Likewise, please call me Castiel. I hope you’ll like it here. The community has been very welcoming of our clinic.”  
  
“Oh I think this will be perfect.” Inias smiled.  
  
“Right, so we are all going out for a drink to welcome him, will you be joining us Castiel?” Crowley asked as Meg waltzed in and gave Castiel a challenging gaze.  
  
“Um, sure, just one drink. I have to get home.” Castiel added. He wanted to make his new coworker feel welcomed and just one drink would be just fine and he would be home relatively early.  
  
Thirty minutes later, Castiel found himself at a small bar down the street with Meg, Crowley, Inias and Balthazar. He had never been to this bar before and it took him a moment to realize all of its patrons were mostly Omegas and a few Betas.  
  
He gripped his beer as he wondered what Dean was doing. They hadn’t gone out together for some time and again he agreed that it was because he was always working. He sighed as he made himself come back to the people that were in front of him and just caught the started conversation between Meg and Inias and saw Balthazar rolling his eyes.  
  
“...Alphas are not the brightest of creatures.” Meg laughed as she and Inias cheered with their glasses as Crowley snorted into his cognac.  
“It took a lot to get to where we are.” Inias added as a hint of shame and anger crossed his face. Meg agreed as hatred danced in her dark doe eyes.  
  
“It was difficult for all of us.” Castiel agreed. He had his own horrific memories and he knew many others had gone through much worse. His own recollections of painful years in medical school liked to rear their heads. He had been cornered multiple times, by multiple Alphas and the implications of those events still scared him. Yet, somehow Castiel had escaped every time. He would have bruises and cuts, was a bit disheveled as his clothes had been pulled and yanked, yet he had managed to escape. He knew other Omegas hadn't been so lucky and from the hatred Meg and even Crowley expressed and at times had alluded to, made Castiel believe they hadn’t been so lucky. He wondered if Inias had been lucky or not.  
  
“Yes well, some of us still gave it though.” Meg stated as she looked directly at him as if he had somehow betrayed her personally. Castiel frowned.  
  
“What do you mean?” Inias asked, curious.  
  
“Oh, Castiel here is married. Did the hyphenated name not give it away?” Meg teased yet her tone was a bit too close to a snarl.  
  
Inias’ eyes went wide as he regarded Castiel and looked at his wedding ring. “Oh, you’re married? To an Alpha?”  
  
“Yes, Dean is a good Alpha.” He hated this, as if he had to defend his husband and it felt absurd. Yes, many Alphas were complete monsters and took complete advantage of the fact that they could get away with almost anything, even though laws were changing and more Omegas and Betas were becoming pillars in their our accord, but there were many, if not more good Alphas that did fight on their sides to change than not. Dean was a prime example to him.  
  
Meg turned to him fully. “I’ve been meaning to ask you a few things Cassie. When did you meet your precious Dean?”  
  
“About seven years ago.”  
  
“Hm, and how did things change for you when you met him?” She asked.  
  
Castiel frowned and took a moment to give the question some reflection. He had been in his last year of medical school and he hadn’t been bothered during that time. There had been name calling but no one had actually assaulted him as in the previous years. “Well, I supposed they were better-”  
  
“Because you smelled like your Alpha. I can smell him on you now. Made other Alphas leave you alone just enough.”  
  
Castiel hadn’t ever thought of that at all. He supposed it made sense. If an Omega smelled like their mate or lover, others did tend to stay clear or face fights. The barbaric need to dominate or protect what was ‘theirs’. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and took a sip of his beer.  
  
“Then you had a residency at St. Michael’s Hospital for one year right before you were pregnant?”  
  
“We got married before I started my residency and then yes, I pupped with Ellie.” And he couldn’t help but smile at that. Nostalgia swirled inside of him as he remembered those nine months. He had never been so happy. His pregnancy had been amazing and wonderful. He had never felt such a connection and serenity. As an Omega, he had felt complete and right. Dean had been extremely loving and protective. It was their happiest time and the two years that followed had been the most perfect time in their union.  
  
“Yes, the residency had been a vastly different experience than school. There had been entitled Alpha doctors that would ignore me but that was truly the worst of it.” Castiel stated. Yet he still had to prove himself and had continuously worked twice as hard as all the other newbie doctors that were mostly Alphas. There had been an array of frustrating times and situations with tears and depressing thoughts, yet Dean had been his rock during all of those times and had been nothing but supportive and held him through it all.  
  
“Castiel, isn’t your married name ‘Winchester’?” Inias suddenly asked as if he had just realized something.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
Meg all but sneered at him which made Castiel flinch back a bit in his chair. “You really have no idea...Cassie, this is a small town and there are a few families that are considered pillars of the community. Winchesters are all over the place. John Winchester has been Police Chief for the last three decades. Mary Winchester is City Mayor. Henry Winchester founded the town square and markets. Your husband’s family is pretty influential if you haven’t noticed. You think that once you were involved with the Mayor and Chief’s eldest, their pride and joy, that it was a coincidence that people stopped bothering you? That you got an impossible internship for your residency at St. Michael's? A top notch Alpha owned and operated hospital?”  
  
Castiel’s eyes widened. None of that had ever even crossed his mind. Hell, he had only met Dean’s parents a handful of times because their lives were so busy and Dean didn’t seem particularly close to them. At times it felt as if Sam was Dean’s only family and the implications of what Meg was saying just didn’t feel right even though she had clearly put quite a bit of thought to all of this.  
  
“Dean Winchester…he owns that high end wood-shop in town right?” Inias asked as Castiel nodded.  
  
“Yes, Dean is an extremely skilled carpenter. He made our pup’s crib.” Castiel added proudly.  
  
“Cassie, don't you see where I’m going with all of this?”  
“Quite honestly, no.”  
  
Meg rolled her eyes, yet before she could explain, Crowley spoke over her. “She’s trying to make you understand why you and dear hubby have been at odds since you came to work with us at an Omega clinic.”  
Castiel frowned.  
  
“Dean’s family has no pull here. No eyes on you. No way to control you. You are independent, successful with clients that come back and trust you with their health. And you make more money then he does with his little craft store. It’s obvious your Alpha is jealous of the success you have and it’s showing. We’ve watched you become sad and withdrawn over the last few years just, all that fighting with your Alpha. Smart of you to refuse mating.” Meg stated and toasted to him before she finished her drink.  
  
A cold pit hit the bottom of his stomach. Castiel felt a bit ill at the mention of mating. He had never wanted to be mated. Ever since he had been a child, the fear that mating instilled in him. The thought of being physically and spiritually bonded to someone; to an _Alpha_ for the rest of his life. This had been a difficult subject for him to breach with Dean when they had become an official couple. He could still see the disappointment, fear and hints of rejection that had filled Dean’s expressive green eyes. It pained Castiel to this very day. He knew in the depths of his heart that Dean had always hoped he would one day change his mind and Castiel could admit it to himself and only within his most secretive of places that he had considered it many times over when it came to Dean. His Alpha was nothing like the horrible Alphas he had witnessed around him since a child that had abused their Omegas yet, that fear had kept his mouth firmly shut for the last seven years.  
  
He couldn’t help but wonder, if they were mated, if their current problems would have been dealt with differently and or if they would even be at this point.  
  
  
  
 **Thanksgiving Sam and Eileen’s Home**  
  
  
Dean stepped out onto the back porch of his brother’s house, beer in hand and sat down on the swing chair. Ellie and her cousins had passed out pretty early after the hearty meal Eileen had made. The Alpha was still tasting her apple pie mixed in with his beer. The sun had set some time ago and like a fool, he had repeatedly checked his phone, hoping for…Dean licked his lips in frustration. A part of him felt pathetic, just for wanting his Omega’s attention for longer than five minutes in the morning when they exchanged pleasantries before both heading out the door.  
  
His thumb started to pick at the label on the beer, needing to fight as his emotions felt raw even without provocation and he hated these fucking feelings. He just didn't understand where he had gone wrong, why Castiel had pulled away so swiftly. He understood that the Omega’s career was important to him. Hell, he knew that better than anyone, he had always been supportive and there for him every step. He had been front and center during his Omega’s struggles with his vocation and then…Then it was as if something shifted and he and Ellie were no longer among the Omega’s priorities and it killed Dean inside.  
  
A dark voice inside him wondered if this had been a reason why Castiel had never wanted to be mated. In the beginning they had talked about it and it had been clear that it wasn’t something that Castiel wanted for them. Dean had been hurt of course, because for him, Cas had been ‘it’ since the very moment they had met, but Dean had respected his wishes and hadn’t broached the subject again even though the Alpha had always silently hoped that the Omega would one day change his mind. Dean’s thoughts liked to wander and torture him for the past few years since Castiel’s change in demeanor if maybe he had never been good enough for the Omega. He tried his best to stay calm, to remain understanding and most of all be strong for Ellie. Yet, with each day of the last three years, a piece of his heart shattered with every broken promise that left Castiel’s lips.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
Dean jolted as Sam came to join him. He had been so far in his head he hadn’t even heard his giant brother come out on the porch.  
  
“Hey.” Dean’s voice was hoarse and he could feel his brother’s eyes on him. Sam knew him too well. It was a blessing and a curse. Sam and Eileen hadn’t even bothered to ask where Castiel was when he and Ellie had arrived, instead they had taken it in stride while they tried their best to mask their pitying and worried glances his way.  
  
Neither spoke for a long time as they each drank their beers and listened to the crickets play their nightly songs.  
  
Dean wasn’t sure what was stirring the whirlwind of emotions inside of him but he hated them. His doubts and hopes were a blur as rejection and hurt raised just beneath his skin and he knew he was just giving himself excuses. But he also just couldn't think of himself alone. Ellie had been suffering from Castiel’s broken promises and the fact that she rarely even asked for her mama anymore only pierced Dean’s aching heart all the more. And that’s what was pushing his current train of thought. Perhaps it was best that they hadn’t mated...he didn’t think he could handle pinning sickness from a broken mating bond on top of his already broken heart.  
  
“So,” Sam started.  
  
“I’m thinking of getting a divorce.” Dean spoke over Sam and if the situation hadn’t been as painful as it felt, Sam’s eyes bulging out would have almost been comical.  
  
“Wow…ok um. I’m sorry Dean...I know how hard it must have been for you to come to this conclusion.” Sam spoke softly, his bergamot and orange scent radiating safety against Dean’s own bitter scent of sorrow and loss. “Is there…I mean when…” Sam couldn’t seem to find the right words as Dean watched his baby brother rub at his chin.  
  
“I um, he promised me he would be home for Christmas.” Dean added quickly before he took another swing of his beer.  
  
Sam nodded. “Is that going to be your sticking point? If Cas is home for Christmas you think he finally heard you and it's a chance to fix things and if he doesn’t…”  
  
Dean nodded as he licked his lips again. “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.” He couldn’t handle another broken promise, he couldn’t handle seeing Ellie’s sad eyes when her mama wasn’t present when it was supposed to be about family…about her, about them, being together, happy and whole.  
  
He didn’t know how or why things had changed so drastically with Cas. When they had first started their lives together and Cas had pupped they had been so happy. Everything had been perfect, they communicated and there had been so much happy sappy fucking love that Dean’s face hurt every day from how much he smiled like the loved filled loon he had been. They hadn’t been able to stay apart, always together and Cas had been so freaking beautiful all swollen with their pup, that stunning smile so bright and those ocean blue eyes filled with glee and love. That had completely amplified when Ellie was born. Those thirty four months had been what people dreamed of for Dean. Had been what was depicted in romance novels and movies about that happiest time in one’s life and that time had been it for Dean He could have sworn it had been the same for Castiel, there was no way it hadn’t been. Dean had been there, front and center and Castiel had been beaming with pride and happiness.  
  
“Alright, well, you know you and Ellie are always welcome here.” Sam offered and Dean knew his brother was saying and doing what family did for each other, yet his words only seemed to feed Dean’s fear that he would have to take him up on that offer.  
  
  
  
 **Christmas Morning, Winchester Household**  
  
  
Dean woke up to the birds chirping and a light snow falling. He smiled, despite his uneasiness, at the perfectly ideal weather for a Christmas morning. He couldn’t help but notice Castiel’s side of the bed had been cold and clearly hadn’t been slept in. A stone in the pit of his stomach settled as he got up. Cas would sleep in the guest bedroom if he didn’t want to wake Dean when he would get home late, but something told Dean the Omega wasn’t home at all. The Alpha wandered down the hall and sure enough, the guest room was undisturbed and he rubbed at his face tiredly.  
  
Surprisingly, Ellie was still sound asleep as Dean checked in on her and smiled at his adorable pup. She had kicked off a few of the blankets and was snuggled up tightly against her elephant stuffed toy that matched her cotton pajamas that were adorned with baby elephants with striped scarves and Christmas wreaths. The dark waves of her hair were scattered over her pillow and face and Dean’s heart swelled at the adorable sight she made. She was what mattered most and he had to protect her. He hated how his perfect family had crumbled and he was unable to fix it. He couldn’t fix it alone and Cas hadn't been listening to his pleas for the last three years. He had to change things as Ellie grew. He didn’t want her to be hurt and broken like he was. She was still young enough for him to be able to give her a new normal. A happier one where he and her mama weren’t tip toeing around each other. Where she felt and saw that tension between them. She deserved to love her mama without his own relationship struggles coloring and influencing her thoughts and feelings.  
  
Dean left his pup to sleep, and made his way to the kitchen to start their traditional Christmas morning breakfast. It wasn’t exactly the healthiest but it was well worth seeing Ellie’s glee when he made the S’mores egg rolls with hot chocolate made in the slow cooker.  
  
The Alpha was making the rolls, making sure they were perfectly golden brown when he heard his cell phone ping, indicating a text message. He looked up and out of the kitchen window where snow had collected on the sill and his jaw clenched. He knew it was his Omega, texting him whatever excuse it was this time, when Cas should have been home hours ago. A single tear slid down Dean’s cheek as his heart broke once more. The phone pinged again, indicating a second text and it only emphasized that he was not enough, that he and their pup were not enough and it sealed his decision as he silently cried for his marriage that had ceased to mean anything to his Omega.  
  
  
  
 **Christmas, Omega Clinic**  
  
  
Castiel rubbed at his tired eyes. He was supposed to be home hours ago but two of his colleagues hadn’t been able to make it in. He had heard Balthazar argue angrily with both Meg and Inias over the phone as they had called in. Castiel hadn’t been able to make out any actual words, only the livid tone from the blonde Omega. Balthazar had hung up to let him know that the two wouldn’t be making it in and Castiel had sighed in frustration. The situation had meant he wouldn’t be going home as he had promised to. Before he could even attempt to text his Alpha to tell him, a feeling of dread swirled inside him, because again, he had broken a promise that Dean had pleaded with him not to make. Because of the current situation, his Alpha had been proven right, and now, suddenly the clinic was alive with Omega patients in desperate need and before he knew it, it was morning. He sent two texts trying to convey in a few words what had happened.  
  
Castiel slumped back into his office chair as he sighed, exhausted and worried. He looked at his phone after too many minutes had gone by with no reply from Dean which only made his wolf whine anxiously. He didn’t have long to think as an equally fatigued Balthazar was at his door with another walk in needing a doctor.  
  
  
  
 **Christmas Evening**  
  
  
Castiel forced himself to stay alert as he rushed home. The eighteen hour shift had him on the verge of collapse. It wasn’t the first time he had worked such an incredibly busy shift but he truly hoped they would be few and far in between. It was almost five o’clock and he was starving. He wanted a shower and he tried his best to stay awake to see what gifts Ellie had received. As he slowed to a stop at the red light, he tried to remember what he had gotten for his daughter this year. He was bone deep tired and his mind wouldn’t cooperate and he sighed as the light turned green and he moved on through the intersection.  
  
Ten minutes later, he was filled with relief as he turned onto his residential street, but a piercing cold feeling hit him, and dispelled the relief as he pulled into his driveway.  
  
Like he had at Halloween, Dean had decorated the outside of the house with elaborate decorations. Beautiful thick green garlands strung with clear lights with a red bow at its center hung perfectly spaced over the front door paired with a matching wreath that hung at the center of the door. The windows were decorated in the same fashion and overhang of the porch hung large Christmas baubles that glistened in the lights. Their lawn was decorated with matching Christmas baubles with fake gifts circling them. It was so pretty in the evening when it was all lit up. Only now, none of the decorations were lit and none of the lights inside the house seemed to be on either.  
  
The Omega quickly cut the ignition and realized numbly that Dean’s Impala wasn’t in the driveway as he rushed into the house.  
  
“Dean? Ellie?” He called out as he shook the snow from his shoes. There was a soft glow coming from the living room and as he stepped down the hall, the Christmas tree was alight, but there were no sounds coming from the rest of the house. Castiel moved towards the kitchen and spotted something lying on the counter. He turned on the kitchen light and his heart stopped.  
  
There were a few papers left out for him and on the very top lay Dean’s wedding ring.  
  
“No…” Castiel whispered as he rushed towards the counter and saw the writing on the documents. The bold print of _‘Petition for Divorce’_ headed the page, and as his eyes scanned the document the words _‘irreconcilable differences’_ were listed as the reason. As he moved the paper what he read on the page beneath made his heart stop. _‘Petition For Sole Child Custody’_ glared up at him. A muffled cry left his lips as he reached for Dean’s ring with trembling fingers before he spun around to look around at the empty house. His vision blurred as tears ran freely down his cheeks. He rushed towards their bedroom. “No…No…no!” He cried as he looked through Dean’s dresser. But the dresser, his closet and the shelves in the bathroom were all empty of Dean’s possessions, everything was gone.  
  
The Omega cried out in a panic as he hurried towards their daughter’s room and this room, just like their bedroom, was empty of everything save for a few stuffed toys left on the bed. Castiel crumpled onto the bed as he held onto the stuffed bear and cried. He sobbed as his heart shattered. Fear shook him now that his family was gone. They were gone and he couldn’t breathe. His heart raced and his fingers clenched as he pleaded into the toy’s soft fur to bring them back. He didn't want this, he couldn’t. He wanted his pup and husband to be here. Where they had always been. Guilt ate at him and his mind replayed every argument he and Dean had had over the last few years. The anger and disappointment in his Alpha’s emerald green eyes as they slowly dimmed with hurt and resignation as time went on.  
  
Castiel cried.  
  
Every broken promise he had made had meant nothing with all that he had broken. His beautiful daughter’s sad eyes as she hoped and wished he would be there whenever she had asked so many times only for her to slowly stop asking him at all. He had done this. He had never ever wanted this.  
  
Soon enough, the overwhelming onslaught of memories drained all of his reserves and the Omega blacked out with grief and exhaustion on his pup’s bed.  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

  
  
The consistent banging noise and the ringing of the doorbell slowly pulled Castiel out of his pain and exhaustion filled blackness. He frowned as the noises suddenly stopped, momentarily believing he had imagined it when the distinctive sound of the lock and front door being opened made him sit up. He was still on Ellie’s bed, clutching her bear when his sister appeared in the doorway.  
  
“Cas…” Anna’s tone was soft and filled with concern which only served to make fresh tears start anew in Castiel’s eyes. A hiccup left his lips and his older sister was rushing towards him and took him in her arms. Castiel held tightly to his sister as he cried against her shoulder.  
  
He wasn’t surprised that she knew. Anna and Eileen had been friends for years, they were the reason Castiel had met Dean in the first place when Eileen had started dating Sam so long ago.  
  
“De-” He couldn’t form the words as Anna caressed his back and shoosed him as she whispered she knew. His sister knew how much he loved the Alpha and their daughter. A part of him wanted to scream and yell that he hadn’t seen this coming and that he didn't know why. But another part of him knew that was false, that he knew but he sure as hell didn’t agree with it.  
  
A noise came from the hallway and both turned to look at who was now standing before them.  
  
“Who the hell are you?” Anna demanded.  
  
“Meg?” Castiel voiced surprised. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“Hey Cassie. We were worried, you didn’t show up for work. No call and you weren’t answering.” She started.  
  
Castiel frowned. He wasn’t due to work until tomorrow and right now he wasn’t quite sure that he could. “I just got home after an eighteen hour shift.”  
  
“Cassie it’s the twenty sixth and it's 10 in the morning. ” Meg pointed out as he looked over something she had in her hands.  
  
Castiel frowned as confusion filled him. Had been asleep that long? Perhaps… it was possible with the shock of coming home and finding the papers on the counter.  
  
“Well this explains it. But at least now you won’t have to worry about him being angry with you anymore and hell, you gave him what he wanted so now you won’t even have to worry about dealing with a pup.” Meg stated as she looked over the documents Castiel now realized were in her hands. Anna stood and quickly took the papers from her, anger boiling through her jasmine and strawberry scent.  
  
“Do you mind? I don't know who the hell you are to Castiel but you need to leave.” Anna growled out yet Meg completely ignored her as she addressed Castiel once more.  
  
“This is good news for you. You gave the Alpha the pup he wanted so now you're free to concentrate on your career.” Meg smiled and it completely unnerved Castiel.  
  
“That’s not… I was the one that wanted the pup. You don’t know anything about my marriage Meg.”  
  
“I know it’s over and that you’ll be better off without that Alpha. He’ll probably demand money now so you better get a good lawyer, can’t have that Alpha ego get all your hard earned money.” Meg stated and it was clear she hadn’t heard his actual words.  
  
“I think you should leave” Castiel whispered as fresh tears filled his eyes and a memory filled him as he vaguely heard Anna escorting the brunette from his house.  
  
  
**~|~|~** _Castiel lay sated and pliant in their king size bed. He hummed as he exhaled, filled with tendrils of happiness from their love-making just moments before. His whole body still tingled and ached with the deliriously euphoric glow that had him smiling goofy-like as he turned his head into the pillow. Dean’s scent of bergamot and mint made him purr as their mixed scents of arousal and sex still lingered heavily in the air. He was utterly content and fulfilled. Nothing could be more perfect than to be awakened on a Sunday morning by his husband making love to him until he felt so cherished and so cared for he could just melt into the bed and never move again. His wolf was calm and happy as he listened to his Alpha in their adjacent bathroom.  
  
Castiel found himself caressing his stomach and as his lust hazed brain came out of its fog, he felt a deep ingrained need take root within himself. His wolf mewled and yipped as he started to realize this underlying desire he hadn’t fully explored yet and this moment, this time in his life felt right.  
  
“You gonna stay in bed all day sweetheart?” Dean’s deep southern drawl caressed him in ways his hands couldn’t. It made him feel alive and desired the way the Alpha’s tone was filled with complete devotion and adoration. Castiel smiled at his husband who came back to bed to lie next to him, propped up on his left arm as Dean started to caress his face with his right.  
  
Dean’s emerald eyes studied him as he smirked. “So damn gorgeous” The Alpha whispered as he lowered his lips to Castiel’s.  
  
“Dean?” Castiel loved this man, his Alpha. The way Dean regarded him, those expressive and mesmerizing green eyes always made the Omega feel as if he could move mountains and yet be the most desired Omega in the world by this incredible Alpha.  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“I want a baby.” The words left Castiel’s lips and nervousness trickled through him. They hadn’t ever actually discussed having pups but he knew Dean and knew the Alpha would be an incredible father.  
  
Dean’s eyes went comically wide and his mouth opened and closed several times before a shocked smile set into place and he leaned forward to seal their lips together once more. “Are you… are you sure? I never really pressed the topic because well the whole not wanting to mate... I just assumed… yeah? Really?”  
  
Castiel couldn’t stop his own smile, bright and wide as the Alpha’s joy radiated off of him, addicting and encouraging which made Castiel pull the man over him.  
  
“Let’s make a baby then” Dean growled against him as Castiel giggled at his husband’s antics._ **~|~|~**  
  
  
“Cas?” Anna came back towards him and as soon as she saw his tears, she took him back in her arms as Castiel cried against her.  
  
  
  
**Weeks Later January 20th**  
  
  
The last few weeks had found Castiel existing numbly, and just going through the motions. The need for normality after Dean’s departure had been paramount as he tried his best not to break. Any phone calls to his Alpha had resulted in short, sharp rejoinders. ‘You didn’t give me a choice’ and ‘I’ve tried talking to you many times over the last three years and it’s never done anything to make you understand’ or he was promptly told to speak to their daughter, that she needed to hear him tell her he loved her and Castiel’s own heart had broken with how dismissive his five year old had been towards him. He heard Dean chastise her, to be nice and talk to her mama and Ellie’s reluctance to speak to him had nearly killed the Omega. Dean had apologized and explained that she was upset about the move and not quite able to understand what was happening around her which had only served to make Castiel once again plead with the Alpha not to go through with this. Dean had paused over the line and had then stated that he had to and their conversation had ended at that.  
  
Stuck in a loop, Castiel was on autopilot, going to work and coming home with the eerie and painful knowledge that no one would be at home waiting for him. He was sleeping on the small sofa in his office more nights than not. Balthazar tried his best to cheer him up and ended up being the one who tried to take care of him, reminding him to eat, to shower and urging him to sleep as despite the pain in his heart, he still had patients that depended on him. Castiel threw himself into the only thing he had left, his career.  
  
Now, weeks later that had felt like years, Castiel found himself seated at the long table with his divorce lawyer, a Beta named Charlotte Bradbury who had come highly recommended and known well in Omega circles. She was warm and sympathetic and had been a bit surprised when he had been adamant that he didn’t want this divorce. He supposed in her line of work most Omegas wanted to get away from their Alphas, but this wasn’t the case. Just the fact that he needed a divorce lawyer gnawed at his heart. He had tried his best to look presentable as they waited for Dean and his lawyer to arrive but Castiel just wanted the floor to swallow him whole. He didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want this divorce, he didn’t want any of this, he just wanted his Alpha and pup back home where they should be…  
  
“Castiel, this shouldn’t take very long; it's more of a courtesy meeting to make sure the final outline of the divorce agreement is what everyone wants.” Charlotte informed him as he needed. She had told him on many occasions to simply call her ‘Charlie’ yet Castiel couldn’t seem to do so, as if by becoming more familiar with his lawyer it would make this nightmare all the more real.  
  
The door opened and in stepped a stunning female Alpha who was dressed in a bold red slim fitting pencil skirt which hugged her curves and came to rest above her knees. Her jacket sat form-fitting against her hip and buttoned. Her ash brown hair flowed to her shoulders and bounced with every step of her stiletto heels. She radiated power and confidence and Castiel immediately hated her as he heard Charlie sigh besides him. It only added to his apprehension.  
  
The Omega’s eyes however quickly flicked over towards the man that walked in behind her. His soon to be ex-husband was dressed in dark jeans, a white shirt and a light grey plaid blazer with its sleeves rolled up. Dean was clean shaven and despite the dark circles under his eyes that matched Castiel’s own, he was handsome as ever.  
  
Dean sat across from him and looked as unwilling to be here as Castiel did.  
  
“Morning, let's get started shall we? This is quite a simple meeting as the terms are ‘irreconcilable differences’ meaning a no-fault divorce. So, Omega Novak or do you prefer Dr. Novak?” The female Alpha asked and Castiel had to physically make himself look away from Dean to address her. The removal of ‘Winchester’ wasn’t lost on him and it hurt more then he would have imagined.  
  
“Omega Novak is fine.” He whispered as he tried his best to keep his voice from trembling.  
  
“Hm. Omega Novak, I am Alpha Bela Talbot, dear Charlotte and I are already quite well acquainted.” Bela stated as she arched a knowing brow towards the Beta who only glared at her. “As I was saying, the terms are quite simple. Alpha Winchester isn’t asking for any alimony or assets. You can have the house and he will keep his two vehicles, the Impala and the work truck, leaving you with your own vehicle. Any questions so far?”  
  
“Dean-”’ Castiel tried but the Alpha wouldn’t look at him.  
  
Dean tried his best to keep his own composure. He hated this, every second felt like he was peeling off his own skin. Castiel’s rose water and ivy scent swirled with hurt and longing making the Alpha’s wolf growl in frustration. He wanted to hold him, kiss him, telling him everything was ok but it wasn’t and it hadn’t been in a long time. Dean had to protect their daughter… had to protect himself and remind himself that he had stopped being what Castiel wanted.  
  
“Alpha Winchester has also filed for sole custody of five year old Ellie Winchester. You can make it easy on everyone and sign over your rights-”  
  
“Omega Novak will do no such thing. She is his daughter as well and deserves to be in her life.” Charlie countered only for Bela’s hazel eyes to gleam with challenge.  
  
“Oh but he is the reason we are here and his lack of parenting has brought us to this very serious issue. At the most perhaps supervised visitations could be discussed.”  
  
“He is not a threat to the child’s safety!”  
  
“Oh but he is to her mental and emotional health.”  
  
As the two lawyers squared off, Castiel and Dean’s eyes locked and the barrage of tortured emotions that passed between them was tense and painful. Castiel could barely breathe as Dean tried his best to keep himself from lashing out in his frustrations.  
  
“Dean please-”  
  
“You think I wanted this? I tried Cas, I tried talking to you, fighting with you, pleading with you and nothing worked! Ellie is so damn confused. She misses you and then wonders if you miss her too and it's been a crazy struggle for her for the last three years.”  
  
“Dean-”  
  
“No! Every fucking promise! Every single one you made has been broken! Always overturned by some excuse concerning your precious patients who couldn’t give a flying fuck about you, while your family at home was there, waiting and hoping that mama would get his head out of his ass and come to a soccer game, or hell just be home once, just fucking once for a family dinner! Or I don't know, to play with your daughter who is confused and doesn’t understand why mama is always leaving or gone. No, I tried Cas, all of this has been said so many times and I can’t anymore, I… I just can’t… at least you were right about not mating. I never was what you really wanted-” Dean licked his lips in frustration as he tried to keep his emotions in check and keep his tears at bay.  
  
“That’s not true!” Castiel cried. How could Dean ever think such a thing.  
  
After an hour of back and forth between the two professionals, Dean abruptly stood. “I have to go.” And within seconds the Alpha was out of the room.  
  
Bela hummed to herself as she took some final notes and started to collect her things. “Too bad for me Alpha Winchester isn’t into Alphas, he’s quite a catch.”  
  
“Bela!” Charlie warned only for the Alpha to ignore her and continue to address Castiel.  
  
“It's a small town and many Omegas will be quite overjoyed to hear the dashing Alpha Winchester is back on the market.”  
  
“Is this necessary?” Charlie growled out as she too started to put her things away.  
  
Bela regarded her as if she had lost her mind. “Of course it is.” She stated before her cold eyes turned to Castiel once again. “You’re a fool and a lucky one. He clearly cares for you by taking nothing. Perhaps you can get acquainted with your kitchen.”  
  
“Bela! No one needs your barbaric and outdated views of Omegas.”  
  
“There’s nothing wrong with me wanting a career. Plenty of Omegas have careers and families.” Castiel countered angrily as the Alpha looked at him completely unimpressed with a smirk on her face.  
  
“You’re right _Dr. Novak_. However, most Omegas can handle both, a career and a family. While you obviously couldn’t and now here we are. You are quite lucky indeed that you didn’t want to mate, makes this divorce much easier. Now you can have your career and never have to worry about anyone being home to wait on you. Burden gone.” Bela voiced before she spun on her high heels and left Castiel with an utter feeling of loss and defeat.  
  
  
  
**Weeks Later**  
  
  
Castiel sat motionless on his living room couch. The documents in his hands glared up at him as he felt utterly hopeless and lost. He was officially divorced. He had officially lost his husband as well as their daughter. The judge had taken one look at the letter from Dean and had asked Castiel pointblank, wanting to understand if the Alpha was exaggerating in his case or being truthful and Castiel had felt the wind being sucked out of him with every confirmation to Dean’s letter. The judge had looked completely surprised and had frowned deeply with every word that had left Castiel’s lips. Dean now held sole custody of their five year old but the judge had made it clear that it was up to the Alpha to give Castiel visitation rights or not.  
  
Silent tears fell down the Omega’s cheeks as the words on the papers blurred together. Castiel had never felt so lost. Had never felt so angry with himself only to have self pity and depression grip him so tightly they outweighed anything else and used up all of his energy leaving him feeling and acting like a zombie. He couldn’t sleep, he could barely function let alone take care of himself. He was thankful that his sister had been staying with him all of this time to take care of him but he felt nothing but despair . He somehow managed to go to work, putting his own needs and pain behind him to treat others, fulfilling some misplaced need to help when he couldn’t seem to help himself.  
  
“Cas,” Anna sat herself next to him and for the hundredth time since she had come to stay with him, pulled him into her arms as he cried. “Cas…”  
  
“I want them back.” He whispered against her shoulder and his Anna pushed him gently to look him in the eye.  
  
“Then get them back!”  
  
“How?”  
  
“Cas come on!” Anna growled at him as her brother composed himself. “Dean’s been telling you for years ‘how’ and you chose to ignore...”  
  
“I thought I had time!!” He shouted in frustration.  
  
“Well look at what that kind of thinking got you?!” She countered as she huffed at him and sighed. “Cas, you are one of the most dedicated people I know. When you want something you give your all, like your career… and with Dean and Ellie… when you went after Dean you were so shy but determined because you were sure he was the one… and then you two had Ellie, and Cas… I had never seen you so happy. I don’t know and I’m not going to pretend to know what happened for you to just…” Anna couldn’t finish the words. She understood her brother’s need to prove himself in the healthcare field, she did. As an Omega herself she understood better than most, yet, she just couldn’t understand how he had let his marriage to the Alpha of his dreams to crumble this way. “Look,”  
  
“Dean said something a few weeks ago at the meeting with the Lawyers…” The pain filled tone in her brother’s voice made Anna stop and listen. “He said he was never what I really wanted. How could he ever think that? I feel so lost and empty without him Anna. His scent is slowly fading from our bedroom and I can’t take it… it hurts so much. How could I have made him feel this way? I’m a horrible Omega! How can I ever make him see what he means to me? I fucked up so badly. I think he hates me, I,” Castiel’s words mumbled together as he started to hyperventilate and Anna grasped his hands and reminded him to breathe as his insides felt as if they were twisting and breaking into sharp piercing shards.  
  
“Breathe Cas, in and out, slowly.” Anna could smell the desperation radiating off of him in waves as fear and pain soured his normally soothing scent. He was pining.  
  
“What if he never lets me see Ellie again?” Castiel could barely see his sister through his panicked tears.  
  
“He will Cas, but you have to make serious changes. You have to prove to the both of them that you do love them and that they are a priority.”  
  
“I do! You know I do!”  
  
“Yes but Cas, your actions… look at where they have led you?”  
  
Castiel knew she was right and he had to change things, he had to build back the trust Dean had once had in him if he hoped for any kind of relationship with him and their pup… he couldn’t continue like this… he had to get himself together and prove himself.  
  
“I um, I have to go to work.” Castiel whispered as the clock on the wall told him his shift started soon.  
  
“Right, well for one, that place is filled with people you seriously need to reconsider being around Cas. It’s not healthy.” Anna growled at him as she excused herself to let him get read as his eyes focused back on the documents glaring at him, twisting the knife in his heart as it sank in that the divorce was indeed done and Dean was no longer his husband.  
  
  
  
**The Omega Clinic**  
  
  
As soon as Castiel walked into the clinic, Meg came towards him with a bright smile. She had been greeting him this way for the last several weeks and he felt like a broken baby bird every time she wrapped her arm around him to usher him into his office.  
  
“Aww, why are we looking so extra pathetic today Cassie?” She asked as she tried to close the office door only for Balthazar to push it open. The pair glared at each other and Castiel sighed as he sank into his chair.  
  
“My divorce is officially final today.” Castiel whispered as he willed himself not to cry. He was at work and had patients to see and yet…  
  
“Oh! That’s great news! Finally rid of that Alpha! We should go celebrate today!” Meg cheered but her words just made Castiel feel angry and tired. He didn’t need his kind of reaction, she was clearly ignoring his pain. He felt raw and vulnerable suddenly and he just wanted her to go away. Until now he had always been able to ignore her constant jabs at Dean but now… now he wondered if he had been unknowingly receptive to her constant anti alpha speeches.  
  
“Meg, get out. I need to go over his schedule with him.” Balthazar stated with ease as he looked over the files in his hands, dismissing her as if she was just an annoying fly on the wall.  
  
Meg glared at the blonde Omega who continued to ignore her. She snarled at him and then exited without a word. Balthazar sighed and locked the door behind her which made Castiel frown at his actions.  
  
“Cassie…” Balthazar came around the desk and hugged him tightly. Castiel hugged back just as tightly and tried his best not to cry. “Listen to me Cassie.” Balthazar started as he released him but something around his neck caught Castiel’s eye and reached up to clasp the necklace and what was at the end of it.  
  
“Balthazar… is this?” Castiel eyed the stunning ring in his hand. Carefully the older Omega took it from his hand and smiled at it gently before hiding it once more under his shirt.  
  
“Yes, I’m engaged.” Balthazar confirmed and despite his own pain Castiel smiled at him and hugged him once more. He was truly happy for his friend.  
  
“When? How? Who?” Castiel had too many questions. They rarely ever spoke of Balthazar’s life outside of work and he had a strong feeling it was because of their co-workers.  
  
“Benjamin Lafitte. We’ve been dating for some time now.” Balthazar whispered between them and Castiel saw the pure unbidden love his friend had for the burly Alpha. Benny Lafitte was the local Fire-station Chief. Dean, Dean was friends with him.  
  
“I’m so happy for you Balthazar, I-”  
  
“Please don’t Cassie. Just listen to me. I’m leaving this job and I think you should too.”  
  
“What?” Castiel was stunned. Of course it had occurred to him every day since Dean had initiated the divorce but… but he felt confused and helpless like he was stuck on a spin cycle and didn’t know how the hell to get off.  
  
“I already gave Crowley my resignation. I’m just finishing out this week. This place… the idea of an all Omega Clinic for and by Omegas is great, it really is, but their anti Alpha propaganda isn’t what I signed up for and neither did you.” Balthazar growled out.  
  
“I… “ Castiel felt like a fool. He knew with every part of him that this Clinic had never been a healthy environment and he was ashamed to realize that he had ignored all the red flags in favor of wanting to build his career and help his patients. He was a complete fool that had somehow let those evil whispers get to him and believed he was doing good in putting his patients first and he hated himself for willingly doing it. For pushing the love of his life out of his life and losing their daughter in the storm of his desperate need to be the most successful Omega physician in their town. He broke them, no one else but him and he hated himself. The shame that had awakened within him threatening to shock him. He didn’t want to admit any of it because then; then he was truly the one that had destroyed his happy life. He could blame Meg and the others all he wanted but he wast the one who had put his career before all else. It meant admitting that the last three years of his life had been wrong and he had missed so much. He had felt a sense of righteous duty to this clinic and its people when no one truly cared for him in return besides Balthazar. Despair felt heavy and dark in the pit of his stomach as the pethathic and helpless feelings returned to drown him promised to choke him.  
  
“Look, if you want Dean to trust you again and to actually be part of your daughter’s life as she grows, you need to stop this self pity party and make actual moves. Words only mean as much as the actions that follows them and the first clear step you need to do is get the fuck out of this pergatory hell hole.” Balthazar voiced.  
Castiel knew he was right, every word felt like a physical slap that he needed in order to wake the hell up. His pining and sadness wouldn’t cease until he put into action what he most desperately wanted and he needed to prove himself but not only to Dean and Ellie but to himself.  
  
“This is where I will be starting next week. You should give them a call and see if they have any openings. Its across town and its a large clinic that’s actually part of St.Michael’s hospital. It has a diverse staff and its quite honestly a nice place and the people are actually decent.” Balthazar went on as he gave Castiel one of the business cards from one of the physicians on the board.  
  
Alpha Robert ‘Bobby’ Singer was displayed on the card in a bold, cursive stating he was the director of the clinic.  
  
“Diverse staff?” Castiel questioned.  
  
“Yes, Alphas, Betas and Omegas and Alpha Singer runs a no bullshit and equality type of ship. His second in command is Omega Jody Mills. And she is much scarier then he is.” Balthazar mused which made Castiel smirk. “Look, if you want your family back like I know you do, leaving this clinic is the first major step. You don’t have to follow me to the Singer Clinic, but you need to get out of this one.”  
  
Castiel swallowed as he looked at the card in his hand and back up at his friend. He was ever grateful for the older Omega and he was right. He needed to set in motion his plan to get his family back and the first thing was to leave the toxic environment behind. “Thank you Balthazar.”  
  
  
  
**Two Weeks Later, Singer Clinic,**  
  
  
Castiel held onto his briefcase like a lifeline as he waited to be called in for his interview. He tried to keep his legs from giggling from nervousness but wasn’t completely successful. This was the second major step in his plan, the first had been to give his resignation to Crowley and that hadn’t gone as well as he had hoped. Crowley had been less than professional and had told him point blank not to return crawling back when he couldn’t find a job. However as Castiel had walked out and away from the Omega Clinic, a heavy weight had lifted from him and it had been the first time in months since Dean had left that he had felt a spark of happiness in his path.  
  
Balthazar had been able to help him get an interview even though the blonde Omega had just recently started. They spoke often and Balthazar felt he had a lifelong friend that Castiel had always needed.  
  
“Dr. Novak?” Castiel looked up to find an older female Omega with short dark hair smiling at him as he quickly stood up.  
  
“Yes, hello!” Castiel shook the woman’s hand and smiled in return.  
  
“I’m Dr. Mills, follow me”  
  
Dr. Mills took him down a long hallway, noises of occupied offices and examination rooms filled with patients alerted Castiel of the clearly busy and lively clinic.  
  
The office they stopped at was warm and inviting as Dr. Mills sat behind her desk and Castiel took a seat in front of her.  
  
“So, you have quite the resume, may I ask what brings you here besides Balthazar’s suggestion?”  
  
“Um, well, the previous clinic I worked for wasn’t something that was suited for me anymore. I need a change of environment to learn and accel as a doctor and Omega.”  
  
“Alright, I’ll be frank. When Balthazar came to me and Bobby about bringing you in, he made us understand a few things about both of your previous employment environments. So I want to be clear about this. Here at the Singer Clinic, there is no ‘anti’ any subgender. Everyone works hard and everyone here is an equal, we don’t tolerate toxic and hateful behaviors. Also, your business is yours and yours alone unless you wish to share. Castiel, if I may, this Clinic and everyone in it is like a big family, we care about each other and are there to support each other. Balthazar did not divulge any of your personal circumstances, but it’s obvious you are dealing with something. I hope it is not forward of me to point out that your scent carries notes of pining sickness and longing?” Dr. Mills said only for her to hold up her hand when she saw him turn pale. “Its none of my business unless you choose to say, but whatever happened to you, I am sorry you are suffering, son.”  
  
“It’s my fault.” Castiel blurted out as he covered his mouth with his hand. Dr. Mills reached across the desk and took his free hand in hers.  
  
“Castiel, whatever happened, starting over in a new job might help ease some of the pain. None of us here are without our own pains and hopes. Do you feel Singer Clinic will be a good step for you?”  
  
“Yes! Yes… I do” Castiel answered honestly.  
  
“Alright then, why don’t you come in next Monday and we’ll get you situated” She stated and smiled at him.  
  
Castiel gasped and smiled. “Thank you Dr. Mills.”  
  
“Call me Jody.”  
  
“Thank you Jody.”  
  
  
**######**  
  
  
Anna had left him to go back to her own place after Castiel had officially started at the Singer Clinic. He had been there for the better part of a month and liked his colleagues and there was a familiar ease to working with Balthazar still. There was laughter and warm scents and positive energy in the much bigger clinic and Castiel finally started to feel good about his chosen path for turning his life around.  
  
However, the best part was that he was able to speak to Ellie every day. He had started by calling Dean; his nerves high as he fidgeted while sitting at his kitchen table. He had been too afraid and ashamed to call him before and had hated just how long it had taken him but he had sat there patiently awaiting for the Alpha to answer, hoping that he would and not be sent to voicemail. As the phone continued to ring, a sadness filled him as he realized that Dean wasn’t going to answer him but then his ex husband’s voice graced his ears and Castiel held himself back from bursting into tears of joy.  
  
  
**~|~|~** _“Hello?” Dean sounded preoccupied yet Castiel couldn’t find it in him to care as Dean answered the phone.  
  
“Hello Dean.” The Omega tried his best to stay calm and collected.  
  
“Hey Cas, whats up?” Dean’s tone sounded guarded and Castiel closed his eyes, knowing the Alpha had his reasons but this was important, he had to prove himself to him.  
  
“I um, I was hoping to talk with Ellie… if- if that’s ok?” He hated feeling so unsure and he could practically feel Dean frowning on the other line but after a beat the Alpha replied.  
  
“Um, yeah, gimme a sec to call her in, she’s playing outside with Paige and Aubrey.”  
  
“Ok thanks” Castiel smiled to himself as he closed his eyes. Just hearing Dean’s voice made his wolf wake and long for the Alpha yet he cherished the thought that Dean wasn’t angry or ignoring him. Dean wasn’t unknowingly feeding into Castiel’s fears and for that the Omega was ever thankful. He listened as Dean called out to Ellie. Castiel could hear the giggles of the girls as they played and his heart ached painfully as he missed this… how could he have ignored such an important need as a mama… he chastised himself and vowed to do what he needed to redeem himself in his daughter’s eyes as well as his ex’s.  
  
Castiel listened intently as he was able to overhear Dean and Ellie speaking.  
  
“Yes Daddy?”  
  
“Mama is on the phone, wants to talk to you.”  
  
“I don’t want to.”  
  
Hearing his pup say she didn’t want to talk to him hurt more than words could ever explain. He could hear Dean say something to Ellie but the phone had been pulled away and he couldn’t make out anything. After a few seconds where Castiel was sure Dean would come back on the line and tell him that their pup didn’t want to talk to him, instead he heard a shy “Hello?”  
  
“Hi peanut!” Castiel voiced as relief filled him. Tears were already burning in his eyes and he couldn’t stop the effect of hearing his five year old had on him.  
  
“Hi Mama.”  
  
“How are you? Daddy said you were playing with Paige and Aubrey?”  
  
“Yeah… we were playing with Bones.”  
  
“Bones?” Castiel asked alarmed and Ellie giggled as she heard his confusion and startled at the word.  
  
“Bones is a doggy mama.” Ellie informed him and continued to giggle. “Uncle Sam brought him home yesterday.”  
  
“Oh ok.” Castiel smiled into the phone as she started to tell him all about the new doggy in the house. The Omega’s heart swelled at hearing the happiness in his pup’s voice and ached with the knowledge that he wasn’t present for these things.  
  
The chat ended much too quickly for Castiel and soon Dean was the one back on the phone.  
  
“Sorry she wanted to go help feed the dog.”  
  
“Its ok, thank you for letting me talk to her.”  
  
A beat passed between them and Castiel wished whole heartedly he could say so much; beg and plead for the man he loved to come back, but he bit his lip knowing that words had lost their strength between them and he had to show the Alpha that he wanted him back. Not just words.  
  
“Yeah, of course.” Dean said as he cleared his throat.  
  
Castiel closed his eyes and could clearly picture his ex lover holding the phone, feeling unsure, his jaw clenching whenever he was upset or stressed.  
  
“Dean… could I call her again tomorrow?” He asked. He wanted to say to him too but he had no idea where to even start with Dean himself.  
  
“Yeah sure.”  
  
“Thank you Dean. Have a nice evening.”  
  
“You too Cas.”  
  
When the phone clicked, sounding the end of their communication, Castiel didn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks._ **~|~|~**  
  
  
Now he spoke to Ellie almost every day and sometimes, it was her or rather Dean calling him because she wanted to talk to him and Castiel cherished every second. There had been a few instances where Ellie was upset with Dean and would seek his cell phone to call Castiel to grumpily vent to him and they were the most endearing calls to Castiel. They were always over small things, like ‘Daddy wouldn’t let me have a cookie because dinner was in twenty minutes’ or ‘Daddy would let me go to bed without a bath… I hate bath time mama’. Every call filled Castiel with love and added strength on his journey, on his path to getting his family back.With every day that his relationship with his daughter became stronger.  
  
Now a few weeks after getting settled in at the Singer Clinic he had a regular schedule, one where he no longer needed to worry about spreading himself too thin in order to be a good physician and he was getting along with his co-workers just fine.  
  
Today was a Thursday with a steady flow of patients and as Castiel spoke briefly with Jody and another colleague named Kevin, he heard two familiar voices that he wasn’t quite prepared to hear.  
  
“Hi Dr. Garth!” Castiel spun around to see his Ellie walking into the clinic followed by Dean. The Omega bolted to the nearest door. He took a deep breath as his heart raced at an alarming rate when the door was suddenly pulled open a few inches to reveal a very confused Kevin and concerned Jody.  
  
“You um, you wanna explain all that?” Jody asked calmly.  
  
“I’ve never seen anyone have that reaction to Alpha Winchester before, usually everyone is just drooling over him.” Kevin started only for Jody to tap him on the head to hush.  
  
Castiel groaned and felt completely stupid for his reaction and Kevin’s words only reminded him that yes, Dean was infuriatingly handsome.  
  
“Dean is my ex husband, Ellie is our daughter and I wasn’t expecting to see him right now and-” The words tumbled out of his mouth and if he wasn’t in such a state himself, Kevin’s wide eyed and slacked jaw reaction would be comical. Jody only arched a brow and Castiel sighed.  
  
“Oh shit!”  
  
“Kevin!”  
  
“I mean, oh crap.”  
  
“Kevin go help Balthazar at the front desk.” Jody voiced as she rolled her eyes. The young medical coder grumbled and knew when he was being dismissed and reluctantly walked away.  
  
“Now, how about you get out of this supply closet and we’ll go into your office. Dean and Ellie are in Garth’s office so they won’t see you.”  
  
It was only as she spoke the words that he realized that he had indeed hidden in a closet filled with harmless office and medical supplies. He sighed and eased out of the small room and briskly walked towards his office with Jody and to his surprise, Balthazar met them there.  
  
“Kevin said you needed me?” Balthazar asked, looking a bit confused as Jody closed the door behind them.  
  
“We just found out who his ex husband is and that he happens to be a patient here.” Jody stated as Balthazar arched a brow in question. “Dean Winchester and Ellie Winchester.”  
  
“I’m a bloody idiot! I never made the damn connection. Well to be fair all of the Winchesters come here and- damnit Cassie I’m sorry, I should have told you that the Winchesters came here.”  
  
Castiel sank into his seat, almost hiding behind his desk. “All of them? John and Mary too? Sam and Eileen and their girls?” Balthazar nodded sheepishly.  
  
“Hey look, it's ok Castiel. The adults only see Bobby and the kiddos all go to Garth. Besides, you working here is none of their business. I doubt Dean would be upset, I mean, didn’t you say that your leaving your old job was to help you move out of a toxic environment?”  
  
“Yes, but I never told Dean that I started working here… nor that I left the Omega Clinic...our conversations are very general and it's mainly just to talk to Ellie…”  
  
“Castiel what aren’t you saying?”  
  
“That I want my Alpha back; my family back! I… this job and me being able to speak with my pup every day is a start but I have so much to do to prove myself. I’m just not ready to see Dean in person.”  
  
“Look, Castiel, stop this trembling Omega deal. You want him back then get him back. Stop with the excuses and do what you know needs to be done. I don’t know the details and it's none of my business but I do know this, Dean Winchester is a good man. The community loves him and I heard about the divorce like everyone else did. Cas, whatever happened between the two of you, if you truly feel you can fix it, do it before it's too late. Stop your excuses'' Jody warned.  
  
“She’s right Cassie. Dean is an Alpha who is quite sought after… not that he has actually shown any interest in anyone else at all of course, but at the very least, let him know you are trying to get him back. Being left in the dark isn’t a good idea for either of you” Balthazar added.  
  
Castiel rubbed at his face and decided they were right. If Dean didn’t at the very least know that he was trying to better himself to get him back. If he wasn’t able to show Dean that he was utterly and completely the only Alpha Castiel had and will ever desire in any way. Cas stopped as doubts and fears warred in the Omega’s thoughts. Castiel thought of other Omegas and how they reacted to Dean and always had. That was nothing new, but with Dean now single it was significant and it sent chills down Castiel’s back at the possible implications.  
  
While he was contemplating what to do next, Jody and Balthazar had left his office. He sighed and wondered what he should do next and decided the first thing was to tell Dean that he left the Omega Clinic weeks ago. That he wanted to start seeing Ellie, not just talking to her on the phone and perhaps that he wanted to win his Alpha back. To have Dean’s trust again. To feel whole again. Thinking of reuniting with Dean always brought back a fear he had felt since presenting; mating. He couldn’t help but wonder if he and Dean had mated would they have ended up here still. The answer was a resounding ‘no’ at the thought. If they had mated, he would not have lost his way like he had. He would have been able to feel and understand Dean, and their bond on a level he had until now been too frightened to commit to  
Castiel took a deep breath. If he wanted his dream life back and to be even better than before, he had work to do and he would do everything it took to do it.  
  
  
  
**Weeks Later**  
  
  
Castiel tucked in Ellie into her blanket. Having her here on weekends felt so good. Having her laughter and the sound of her bare feet on the wooden floor brought the house alive and made it a home again. It mended pieces of Castiel's broken heart and sue him if he tended to fall asleep in her bed holding her close. Ellie didn’t mind and waking up with her was always followed by giggles and wiggles as he tickled her.  
  
Dean had been surprised yet receptive when Castiel had asked if he could start having Ellie over on weekends. But the conversation had also been painful and had made Castiel feel completely at a loss as to how they could move forward from here.  
  
  
**~|~|~** _“Hello Dean.”  
  
“Hey Cas, let me get Ellie.”  
  
“Actually I was hoping to speak to you first, if you have a moment.”  
  
“Um yeah, sure. What’s up?”  
  
It didn’t matter that he heard Dean’s voice nearly every day because of his phone calls with Ellie. Hearing Dean’s voice always left him longing and pining for more and it was maddening at times. “I um, I was wondering if you would consider letting me have Ellie on weekends.” Asking such a thing was nerve wracking yet this was important. Castiel desperately wanted to see and be around his pup again, be part of her life physically again.  
  
“Oh um-, Cas what about work? You’re-”  
  
“I’m not at the Omega Clinic anymore.” Castiel rushed to say and held his breath. “I left three months ago and got a job at a different clinic. I have a regular schedule.” As the silence between them stretched, the words were left unsaid ‘Why didn’t you leave years ago’ and Castiel closed his eyes. Dean didn’t say them out loud but they both could feel them hanging unsaid and Castiel hated it…hated it so very much.  
  
He could so clearly see the anger in the set of Dean’s shoulders, the clench his jaw as he closed his eyes… he could picture it so clearly…  
  
“Ok well um, I’ll talk to Ellie and we’ll figure it out. Maybe you can pick her up from school on Fridays, drop her off Monday mornings and we’ll switch off like that. I’ll make sure she has what she’ll need” Dean stated after a moment and while the Alpha agreeing to him having their pup on weekends made him smile brightly, the way Dean wanted the exchange to take place was like a slap to his face… Dean didn’t want to see him and the guilt and anger he felt towards himself drove in the point that he deserved that… that Dean had every right to not want to see him. That hurt so deeply… he was still going through pining sickness at random times and his Alpha inadvertently rejecting the idea of seeing him, even for mere minutes broke his heart.  
  
“Ok Dean, thank you.” He whispered into the phone as fresh tears swam in his eyes. How was he supposed to tell him he wanted him back? How was he to have any hope when Dean didn’t care to see him._ **~|~|~**  
  
  
Castiel made sure to focus on his weekends with Ellie and build back their relationship. Having her with him, sharing things and learning things together made him feel right in his heart. He couldn’t believe he had made such a horrific mistake in thinking he had time to catch up. She was growing so quickly, was ridiculously smart and dramatic in her ways that had him smiling and laughing more often than not at her antics. If he was meant to be without her father… he wouldn’t lose her too, he couldn’t.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU SEE ANY OF MY STORIES ON WATTPAD UNDER ANOTHER AUTHOR NAME BESIDES MY OWN (XHARUKA17X), IT IS NOT ME!. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY ABOUT THIS PERSON STEALING MY STORY. THIS HAS HAPPENED TWICE ALREADY. PLEASE COMMENT ON MY STORY OR CONTACT ME ON xharuka17x.tumblr.com. THANK YOU


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